The Books that Change Our Lives

I know people talk about the books (or movies) that made a difference in their lives at various stages of growth.  Books get us through the good times, and the bad.  It's no secret that I love books (and not just because I'm a librarian and it's listed in my qualifications) and can wax lyrical on them for hours, but I usually bite my tongue.  The last few days though, I haven't been able to shake two books out of my head.  One of those books I read at the age of 6 and it changed my childhood.  The other, I read at the age of 12 and it changed my life.  Even now 15-20 years later, I reread those two books about once a year.

The book that changed my childhood: A Little Princess

[Trigger warning: abuse]

I grew up in a tough situation.  I never would have called it abuse at the time, because it was the only kind of life I knew, but as I grew older it became harder and harder for me.  Every day I woke up early to take care of the animals, went to school, came home and immediately started on chores.  At about 6, my parents would get home.  There was always work to do, so our first break was usually dinner, around 8.  We ate home-cooked meals as a family, the domestic picture of bliss. My parents started drinking as soon as they walked in every day.  My mom drank to lose herself in another life.  I don't know why my dad drank, what personal demons were after him.  After dinner, before we even had a chance to put the dishes away, my dad would start in on my sister and I.  Our offenses varied day to day, but never changed throughout the years: we didn't finish all of our chores, we didn't do our chores well enough, we weren't doing well enough in school, and all of that because we were lazy and stupid and ugly, and no man would ever want us...By the time mom would convince him to let us put the dishes away (nearly 9), he would stalk after us while she went to bed.  His "lectures" turned into punishment.  We had to stand against the slanted kitchen wall, no where to escape.  Slaps across the face stung the worse, but he wouldn't hit hard enough to bruise.  Anywhere else was fair game.  If we flinched or turned away, we got another hit.  There was more, too, but only for me.  He was convinced I wasn't his actual daughter though throughout my life he refused to get a paternity test.

[End trigger warning]

When I was 6, I read A Little Princess by Franes Hodgson Burnett.  Sara somehow is always positive and kind and generous.  I wanted so badly to always be like that.  I actively tried to be like Sara.  When I was yelled at, I tried to take it as constructive criticism and correct the offending behavior.  Where before I had lied to protect myself, I started taking responsibility for my perceived faults, although it did not make a difference.  As I got older, I realized that real life may not have a happy ending the same way A Little Princess did, but it was habit to try to look at the brighter side of things.  To this day, I credit A Little Princess with getting me through my childhood years and into my preteens.

The book that changed my life: First Test

[Trigger warning: bullying/abuse/eating disorder]

In middle school, I started getting bullied by both kids at school and kids on my street.  I always tried to stick up for myself, but instead of biting, witty retorts, I stuttered and made no sense or started turning red or crying.  One of the things I was made fun of for was bringing brown-paper-bag lunches that were cheap lunch meats and bread.  I dealt with the stress of that by not eating at school and binge-eating as soon as I got home.  I also started skimping at dinner because my stomach was always in knots about what was going to come after dinner.  Looking at pictures now, I know I was not fat when I was younger.  But my dad told me I was all the time, yelled at me for eating snack foods after school, told me no man was ever going to want me.  My sister took her cues from dad and told me a lot of the same, though she eventually stopped.  It was too much for me.  My parents announced that they were getting a divorce and I moved out with my mom, but the damage was already done.  I stopped eating.  I made excuses about it -- at school, I said I ate when I got home.  At home, we were so poor both mom and I were eating less to leave more for the other.  I got a growth spurt at the same time and ended up being very tall and thin, which put an end to the bullying at school.  Living with mom took me out of dad's reach, so I wasn't screamed at and hit or anything else anymore, but in my head I was still fat, and ugly, and lazy, and stupid. 

[End trigger warning]

During my parent's divorce, a librarian was my savior.  She handed me Protector of the Small: First Test by Tamora Pierce and said she thought I would like it.  I read it before school was out for the day and took it home and read it over and over again anyways until I had to turn it in.  Keladry (Kel) was every everything I wanted to be: strong, just, and kind.  She was stubborn about doing what was right, and no matter how picked on she was for being the only female trainee, she stuck it out and worked harder to be as good as the boys.  Kel was the role model I needed to stop being passive-Sara and take a leading role in my own life.  She showed me that it was okay to work hard and stay true to yourself.  Other people's expectations didn't rule her life, and I wasn't going to let them rule mine either.

There were days -- years, actually -- that I thought I was nothing and I would never be anything else.  I was stupid, lazy, ugly, and fat.  I won't say that it was the books alone that pulled me through, but they were the anchors in my life.  I worked as hard as Sara and Kel and became the person I wanted to be.  Without Sara and Kel, I'm afraid I would have been bitter and fulfilled the prophecy my dad drilled into my head.  But I wasn't alone; I had my books.  Today, I am my own, strong woman.  I worked hard and graduated (twice).  I work in a dream position and do what I love.  I am smart, hard-working, and (although the books didn't tell me so) I am not ugly or fat.

Books change lives, and better yet--they change people.

Hi, My Name is [Name] [Library]

I’ve written before about becoming involved in different library associations to connect with our peers.  This year, it seems, has been the year of conferences and webinars for me!  In this case, I’ll just focus on the conferences.

·         Spring: [state] Library Association Annual Conference

·         Autumn: [region] Library Association Annual Conference

·         Late Autumn: Academic Librarian special interest group meeting

In the spring, I started small.  First, I signed up for the carpool forum and volunteered to drive up to 3 people across the state.  It’s a good way to meet people, right?  And then I manned the table of my alma mater in the exhibit hall for brief moments while the alumnus who was in charge was doing other things.  It was a day-long conference and very interesting, though the programs focused on public libraries.  I exchanged emails with a few people, and car-pooled with one person, so I was willing to tally this event as a success.

By autumn, I was ready to take a more active role.  I signed up for one of the shorter presentations and sent in my proposal.  I also volunteered as an “ambassador” and spent an hour signing people in and directing them the right way, another hour (and a half) moderating a presentation, and some time photographing the event.  I met hundreds of librarians, and oh my!  If I thought we were going to be a quiet group, politely shushing each other, I was wrong wrong wrong.  It was delightfully loud.  Mostly I made professional connections, but I also met someone who, while from a different state, seemed to click with me on a friend level, so I now have a librarian pen-pal also.  Most recently we have discussed the skunk-ape and other crypto-zoological tidbits from states.

Librarians not being quiet.

In the late autumn, it was a much smaller group and I was there with my (new) coworkers.  The information was geared towards academic librarians, and it was a full day conference.  I feel like I took a lot away from it, and it was also a good chance to really connect with other academic librarians in the state.

Overall, I’m just saying…conferences may cost money but even aside from the professional development aspect, the connections alone are worth it.  I feel like every penny was well spent and I definitely came home with new thoughts and new experiences!

Making the Change

Lately I’ve been caught in this maelstrom of change and decisions and overall stress.  At work, I was told I would be getting a “promotion”, but the timeline and actual job duties were nebulous at best.  I was already thinking about leaving the legal field; I craved the support and environment of the academic field.  And, to be honest, I was tired of fighting to prove the value of the library.  It felt like every time I turned the corner I was having to argue with an attorney about why the library was an important asset to the firm.

The icing on the cake was when I interviewed at a college for an all-around library position: reference, instruction, tech support, collection management and development…everything I was already doing, but in a broader field and with students.  I interviewed with four librarians.  It wasn’t a very long interview, and with the tour of the campus I was there for maybe an hour.  I left feeling like the interview hadn’t gone badly, but that I hadn’t made any particular impression on them. 

Still, I followed up with an email the next morning, thanking them all for their time and the tour of the campus, as well as reiterating that I was very interested in working for the college.  And then I went back to the law library.  A week later, I got a call. 

“We would like to offer you the position if you are still interested…”

Still interested?  I was ready to dive deeper into that maelstrom and come out on top.  I accepted the position and we set a start date for two and a half weeks later.

I wrote my letter of resignation and brought it to the office manager (since as the librarian I didn’t have a defined superior). 

“Were you actively looking for another job?” she asked me.  “I know you haven’t been happy here, but we were going to change your position soon and…”

I appreciated what she was saying, but the truth of the matter is that the legal field does not leave much room for growth unless you intend on getting a J.D. and practicing law.  I did not intend on doing that.

So now, I am almost a month in as an academic librarian.  And I love it, every aspect.

I love that students come ask me questions.  I love that faculty stops by to chat and see what new audio books we have.  I even love shelving the used books.  It’s funny (not ha-ha funny, but more peculiar-funny) that I didn’t realize I was becoming burnt out at the law firm.  But switching fields back to academia reignited that fire and I couldn’t be happier.

Goodbye maelstrom and stress, and hello change and decisions!  

Fight For Libraries

This week is an important week for libraries in the US.  If you haven’t heard about the president’s proposed budget for the coming year, some of the cuts entirely wipe out the IMLS, LSTA, and IAL budgets.  Hundreds of millions of dollars of funding that benefits libraries, museums, and other educational centers may disappear.  ALA writes about it here and also outlines some of what we, as library supporters, can do.  I took a few minutes and emailed my representative, simply asking him to look over some of the information for the letters presented in ALA’s articles and to consider signing them (by April 3rd, 2017, the deadline).  I honestly hope we can make a difference, because I can’t imagine a world (or nation, as the case may be) without libraries.

General Components of Solo Librarianship

Alternatively: The Research Hat

There are a lot of roles librarians take on, and if you can name one librarian who only fulfills one role, you can color me surprised.  We wear different hats like it’s our job (and for the most part, it is).  In a larger library, though, a librarian may “specialize” in one or two particular roles.  As a sole librarian, you become a “jack of all trades”.  That doesn’t mean you can’t specialize, only that you can’t expect that specialty to be your only hat.

Some of the components involved in sole-librarianship include:

• Cataloging
• User Maintenance
• Ordering, updating, and maintaining subscriptions, books, and other resources
• Physical space organization and needs
• Reference/research
• Creating/maintaining policies
• Technical services (including creating/maintaining a website)
• Staying current in the field
• Outreach

Some of this I have written about in the past, including physical space requirements and cataloging, so I’ll try not to wear those subjects down.  Instead, I’m going to share a little research anecdote that happened just last week.

****

I’m sitting at my desk, logging the information I have been collecting (measuring out the physical space each book takes to determine the shelf space we need in our new location and what can be culled…very thrilling stuff), and my phone rings.  It’s an attorney I don’t work with very frequently but enjoy speaking with.

“Good afternoon,” I greet her, “how can I help you?”

“I am so sorry!” she begins.  That’s how I know it’s going to be a hectic afternoon.  “I should have given this to you three days ago but I forgot about it until just now!  I was supposed to researching issues with [redacted] in various states and nationwide, but only second-hand sources.”

“That’s not a problem; when do you need it by?” 

“In twenty minutes…”

Woah, hold your horses.  Let’s come to a screeching stop.  Twenty minutes?  But as we know, special librarians are in a somewhat unique position where reference questions have to be answered and “I’m sorry, I couldn’t find resources for that” is absolutely not an option.  (Not that other types of librarians say this frequently; however, it is generally considered more acceptable for them to admit defeat if the situation calls for it.)

So the two of us are working frantically at our respective desks.  I let her search WestLaw, since she’s familiar with it, and I search the databases most of the attorneys here don’t know so well.  Including, I’ll admit, Google Scholar.  It’s hitting the fifteen minute mark and I’ve only found two secondary-source articles that are peer-reviewed and published in the last twelve months.  The phone rings again.

“Yes?” I answer, wincing because I can only imagine how disappointed she’s going to be at the fruits of our labor.

“What does it mean if something is out of plan?” she asks.

“It means we’re not subscribed to it so we’ll have to pay extra for it,” I tell her, “we usually bill it to the client.”

“This is non-billable.  Oh, I don’t want to have to pay for it, it’s just exactly what I’m looking for…”

I hesitate, not wanting to get her hopes up.  But, at this point, in the final hour, what the heck.  “Can you email me a screenshot so I can see what you’re looking at?” I ask her.

I watch the second hand tick as I wait for the email.  It comes in after twenty-three long seconds.  

 “Great, I’ll call you back in a minute.”

It’s an article from a journal, dated to their January/February issue of 2016.  There’s a brief glimmer of hope – a lot of legal journals archive their material on their website if it’s over a year old.  This one is, just barely, over a year old.  I run a quick search on the journal.  I pull open the website.  There’s the archive link, and a link to the year, a link to the months …click, click, and click.  And there, shining hyperlink-blue like a beautiful beacon from above, is the article.  Click and save.

I email it as I call her, attaching all three articles.  “It’s on the way to you!” I have to rush the words because I can hear her moving around her office, rushing to get on her way.

“Perfect!” she exclaims.  “I have to go, but you’re wonderful!  Thank you!” She hangs up on me mid “you’re welcome” but that’s okay.  It’s moments like these that made me want to be a librarian – helping someone with the almost-impossible.  Also, to be fair, I do enjoy the occasional "good job" pat on the back.  And we didn’t even have to pay.

Stay tuned for more anecdotes or thoughts on the many hats of a solo-librarian.

Getting Involved

Sometimes I feel a little disconnected from other librarians because I’m a solo-librarian at a law firm.  Sure, I can connect through ALA or AALL or PLLIP…I mean, there are ways.  And I am members of these.  But online connections lack a little familiarity I miss from my time interning at an academic library.  Now, I am trying to work out ways to connect regardless of my electronic v. physical limitations.  Here are some of the ways I am considering/have already begun:

1) Volunteering for committees in various organizations.  They like the time you offer, you get the benefit of meeting and talking with like-minded strangers.

2) Attending committees, meetings, and webinars.  So far, I have only attended webinars due to time constraints, but I am trying to plan to go to the annual AALL meeting in Dallas this year.  It’s an awesome networking experience, and judging by the information from last year it was a lot of fun.  As for webinars – it’s a wonderful way to stay current in your field and the speakers tend to be very informational and organized.  Even if you don’t get to meet anyone personally, it’s nice to enjoy a quick learning session with peers.

3) Spending time in local libraries/museums/similar institutes.  Like I said, I’m a solo-librarian.  It gets lonely and the only people here who have somewhat-similar backgrounds are members of the IT team.  Still, I can’t talk to them about the best ways to catalog or physically organize the library.  (Although, I did get a wonderful amount of help setting up the online library catalog and intranet.)  So I’ve been attending events at the local museums and libraries.  The librarians and I may not cross paths in our given fields every day, but it is nice to know them.